CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR BODY WEIGHT AND WHAT PEOPLE SAY? YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

At the end of this article, hopefully, you’ll be your own judge, if to pay attention to people who disapprove of your body weight (thin/fat) or not.

In the beginning…

Born weighing 2.6 kg, I had never been fat until… Lemme not be in a hurry to jump to the end of the story so soon!

I was and still am very fine, there’s been no underlying illness, I was just skinny!…
I remember weighing 41 kg at the age of 22 (2010).

YES! do not be alarmed. I had weighed 41+1 kg for up-to 7 years before 2010. I recall that each time I checked my weight, I saw 41/42 Kg. Maybe the scales conspired against me? 😀 just kidding!

I vividly remember someone telling me one of those years that her 9 years old son was weighing 41 kg (at the time).

Severally, I have jokingly said that I have often tried to imagine the reason boys didn’t ask me out on dates while I was in secondary school as they did my friends.

It felt alright for me to come to the conclusion that it was because I looked very ‘breakable’ .

Moving forward to my University (undergraduate) days, I guess they imagined it would be child abuse to be with me😀 Thank God for that though because it came with its advantages😉

For most of the years, my body weight had been lower than average such that I was used as a case study once. In 2012 during my postgraduate studies in the UK, I got a mail from the University of Cambridge. They were studying the causes of thinness and requested that I send a sample of my saliva for genetic studies. I gladly did. I had a BMI of 16.4 Kg/m², meanwhile the normal BMI for an adult population should be in the range of 18.5 Kg/m² – 24.9 Kg/m². You can calculate yours here for free if you wish, but I recommend that you do 😇

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The story continues…

As much as it sounds like a joke right now, my self esteem was on the line. I fought very hard to stay afloat. People called me all sorts of names like: “the letter I”, “broomstick”, “okporoko” (dried stock fish), can I go on? I guess you’ve gotten the picture already.

They would call me names and sometimes laugh. No doubt, I had a beautiful face but they wanted more!

I have had people tell me that it was after they had spoken with me that they got to like me. That was because they never saw me as that much of an attractive woman. I did respect their opinion.

When I got tired of the names and how badly I felt about my weight, I tried for months and years to gain weight but it didn’t quite work. (I had thought to myself; “I’m sure with some extra kilos, I will look OK”).

After several trials, I advised myself to take things easily, relax and hopefully the weight would come in its own time. I worked on my self esteem: I told myself that I’ll attract the people who are supposed to be in my life and they will be satisfied with just the way I am. I began to think positively about myself and honestly, I consciously started ignoring the noise.

Then just yesterday…

Fast forward to 2018, at the age of 30, I was now 46 Kg. For 8 years, I had managed to gain 4 Kg – 5 Kg. Go Cheryl!! Yay me!!
Although I was Still underweight (according to WHO), but this time with a BMI of 18 Kg/m².

Then suddenly one day in July 2019, I climbed on a scale and saw a whooping 50 Kg. I had finally hit the 50 Kg target weight that I had yearned for since around 2008! But guess what? I had become pregnant!

That was when the weight that I had literally prayed to God for began to build. By the end of the pregnancy, I was weighing a ginormous 64 Kg (imagine all that “fat”), I almost couldn’t recognise myself, in fact, people literally couldn’t recognise me.

“Koko (my middle name) do you know you are too fat!?” they’ll ask… Ouch! it would hurt. The question was usually asked with the intent to make me feel bad. Reasons best known to “them”. I could easily tell from the way the question is asked and the laughter that would sometimes follow.

People had called me “thin”, now they began to call me “fat”. Both in ways that felt like they were mocking me.

I have heard people who say that they exaggerate on purpose to other people especially their loved ones, telling them that they are thin/fat just so that they can feel the need to work on their weight.

If you are that kind of person, please rethink whether that is the best approach to communicate to someone or not, especially as the topic on “body weight” is a very ‘sensitive’ one to most people.

In my opinion, it is not a good method. I feel if you are not asked? Don’t give an unsolicited advice especially when you are not a health expert and you’re not going to contribute in anyway to solving anything. People already know about their weight. At least they can see how they look. They don’t necessarily need medical diagnosis for that, so, you don’t need to be the person’s mirror.

Again, body weight is a sensitive topic to most people so if you can’t communicate with love and/or professionalism then leave it. Try your best to keep your opinions to yourself so that you do not end up bruising someone’s ego.
Certain talks/jokes like: “eat very well, you need to gain weight” or “are you exercising at all? you need it so you can burn some fat” etc. are uncalled for.

Regardless of your weight, underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese, some people will never be satisfied. Trust me, it’s not about you but instead about them.

I came to my conclusions and I’ll share with you what I’ve learnt and the things that I currently do with regards to my body weight. You can also apply same so here they are:

1. How does God see you?

You’ve probably heard this: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes, God has made you to show forth His glory and praise. That’s how God sees you. You are perfectly made in His own image and likeness. There is indeed glory in you!

This should give you enough confidence to know that you are unique. There is no other you on earth, no other! even if you are an identical twin, you are still unique. You have your own thoughts and ultimately live your own independent life.

Out of the over one million sperms that could have formed a human, YOU beat them all and YOU came forth.
Always carry the mindset of how special you are. This is not just some motivational speech, you are indeed special! Never look down on yourself just because of your body weight (which can be temporary).

2. Think positively

You are royalty and you are a holy nation!

Please do not blame yourself or anybody or situation about your weight. I don’t mean to sound cocky but I’m saying take responsibility and take charge of your thoughts, your words and ultimately your body.

Think positively so that you’ll speak positively and affect your weight positively as well. There’s an old saying “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits.”

My husband is a huge fan of positive thinking and speaking. He is very serious and sometimes strict about it. Even some so called jokes are not permitted near him. He has taught me same and it works miracles for us. So you too can think what you want to see, then say it and you’ll create it with your words.

Remember you’re made like God. God speaks and it comes to pass. You too can speak and your words will come to pass. Everything you say is a seed, seeds germinate, grow and get harvested! What you say can also materialise with time.

3. Live healthier and stay happier

Be determined to live a healthy and happier life. This point includes eating healthily; I mean the obvious things like cutting down on too much sugar and salt, eating healthy fats, and basically incorporating a balanced diet to your meals.

I would like to also add here that if you are in a third world country (as I am), and for most people, coming across a balanced diet everyday is not very realistic, you can include taking vitamins/mineral supplement not necessarily everyday but I promise it will be better than not having any at all.

This point also involves being active. Regardless of your body weight, it is very good to be active. This can include taking brisk walks, doing a few stretches in a day, skipping etc. and not necessarily hitting the gym.

Of course you should speak to your medical doctor, GP or health advisor before taking any medicine or doing any exercise.

Also, in this section, I will also like to add having fun to the example. Fun for you can be a good book, an interesting movie, a stroll around your neighbourhood, comedy, having a meal you have been craving for etc. Anything that is good for you as long as it is not in harms way is what I recommend.

I put health together with happiness in this point because, joy breeds good health. A merry heart does good, like medicine…

4. Set a target body weight where necessary

If you are underweight, overweight or obese, speak to your health advisor and take positive steps towards your goal.

Do those things that you know can help you gain weight, stay healthy or loose weight as required as long as they are safe.

I have heard people say that they do not want to loose  weight because people would say they are now suffering or are sick etc. Some others claim they do not want to gain weight so that they don’t look older than their age and so on.

My advice is this: do whatever you need to do; and in this case, I think it is absolutely OK to put yourself first. Don’t try to please others and displease yourself, instead, do what suits you and be the best of you

5. Get a weighing scale

Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge and knowledge is power. Don’t assume your weight. It’s best to get your own scale to check your weight from time to time so that you can keep track of your weight goals. That way, if someone tells you what they think, you know your own facts. I’ve heard my family and friends been told at some points that they are thin or fat when in reality, the reverse was the case.

I know my current weight regardless of whether I am told that I am fat or thin and if it is increasing, decreasing or stagnant.

I talked about my BMI earlier and also recommended you calculate yours. If you are unsure about your body weight and how it may affect you, please consult your physician.

6. Don’t be obsessed

After all said and done, It is an unhealthy habit to be obsessed about anything; so, be determined not to let your body weight occupy all of your being. I have found just like Job that when you get obsessed, what you fear the most might just befall you.

It is important to note at this point that most of the times, the people criticising you have issues with themselves. Most of them are dealing with one challenge or the other and are looking for an opportunity to bring someone down so that they can feel good about themselves.

Now I’ll ask the question again? Will you continue to listen to people who criticise your body weight? Are you going to let “names” define who you are?

Disclaimer: I am not a dietitian neither am I a medical professional.
This post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or GP about any health concerns.

P.S. Just one word, phrase, clause or sentence can bring the positive change that you need. Find it here @gloryinyou⭐✨💫

CHECK OUT my YouTube channel on Daily Use of English with Cheryl Udomessien. That’s something else I’m passionate about. I bet you will find it very interesting😃

Disclosure: Please note that the amazon links below are affiliate links and I will earn a commission at no additional cost to you. When you use the affiliate links below, I will be compensated. This will help me run this blog and keep all of my content free of charge for readers (like you).